Our choice of words helps to direct our child's thoughts. Words paint a picture in a child's mind that he will tend to act upon. just as behavior is a kinesthetic expression of our thoughts and feelings (and a lot of parents' time and energy is spent managing children's behav­ior), so too are words a verbal expression of our thoughts and feel­ings. A good rule to remember is: the last words your child hears cre­ate images in his mind, and that is what he will act upon. The images that the words evoke are more important than the words themselves. A lot of mixed messages are sent when our verbal instructions don't accurately reflect the behavior we are seeking from our children.

"Be careful what you ask for... you might get it."

Recently, at a community center, a child near me began running down the length of the swimming pool. It looked as if he was car­rying a message from his mother to siblings at the far end of the pool. "Don't run," called his mother. The child stopped for a moment and then, his mission foremost in his mind, he took off again at high speed. "I said, "Don't run!" shouted his mother. He stopped, for a few seconds this time, reflecting on what she had said, and then took off again, running even faster. "Won't that child ever learn?" his mother grumbled. Yes, her child will learn, but it will happen more quickly if he were told what to do instead of what not to do. If she had called "walk," or even, "Ben, please walk," she would have been much more likely to have evoked the response she wanted. (Calling your child's name first gets their immediate attention.)
Our children need correct behavioral information to act appro­priately, because whatever information they receive, they are bound to act upon. Here is another example of how our choice of words can elicit the opposite behavior of what we intend.

Our school recently installed a new slide in the children's play­ground, and the parents who had worked hard to raise the funds for the slide were understandably very proud of it. It was also expensive, so we wanted it looked after.
You can imagine my surprise when I arrived at school one morn­ing and my daughter's teacher said to me in despair, "Look at how the children are behaving on our new slide. You'd never know that I keep going over those rules with the children, day after day, would you?" She then showed me the rules. They were written in huge let­ters on a large blackboard for all to see:

No fighting on the slide.
No sliding on your stomach.
No climbing up the slide.
No throwing gravel down the slide.

I looked out the window again. One child was climbing up the slide as another threw gravel down it. My daughter's teacher was unintentionally focusing the children's thoughts on behavior she did not want, and that is exactly what she was getting.
Another school, not far away, took the exact opposite approach by letting the children know what positive actions they expected from them. In the hall was a giant poster stating:

In our school we...
Walk in the hall.
Share.
Work quietly.
Play cooperatively.

They were giving the children very clear and concise directions and, not surprisingly, the children followed them beautifully.

The phrases we use when we speak to our children are impor­tant because certain words trigger particular responses. For exam­ple, "Please speak quietly," is a clear and positive request. "Don't shout," tells children that shouting is unacceptable, but does not teach them what to replace the unacceptable behavior with. Moreover, "shout" becomes the visual image in the child's mind. Consequently they may well continue to shout, even though they know it is not appropriate, simply because that is the only behavioral instruction they have received. Understanding the nature of our child's mind allows us to teach them in more effective ways. It also becomes self-evident that any method that helps to direct their thoughts towards positive outcomes is a valuable tool in parenting.

Mind Power for Children

Mind power is a great gift to us parents and teachers. It makes our job easier and gives us specific tools to work with. It is also a won­derful blessing for our children, because it gives them a discernible advantage in life. Mind power children are happier and more suc­cessful than other children. They have self-confidence, perform well at school and make friends easily. Positive children get sick less often and are more creative and adventurous. Sure, they have their moods and difficulties, the same as other children, but results indicate that they rebound more quickly from these setbacks and have an uncan­ny knack of coming out ahead. This is what every parent desires with all their heart for their children. Little did we suspect that the key to our children's success and happiness lay in their minds, minds that are specifically designed to thrive when nourished with positive input.
Throughout all stages of childhood, there are numerous win­dows of opportunity for us to instill in our children high self­esteem and positive attitudes, to help them appreciate and know deeply not only their own uniqueness, but the uniqueness and wonder of life itself. As they grow and develop, our children can be praised, loved, and encouraged every step of the way. Mind power gives us these tools. In providing this support for our chil­dren, we do the greatest of all works: the parenting of the mag­ical child into a self actualized and self-fulfilled adult. What greater purpose could destiny possibly give us?